This particular story is inspired by a very recent experience — a comment I shared on Youtube was censored by the content creators or Influencers. I made the sorry mistake of sharing a female perspective on a Youtube video titled: MEN ARE DISPOSABLE #1 — Women willingly choosing single motherhood. The video was posted by a duo who call themselves “Aba & Preach”. EDIT: It appears they have since changed the name of the video to: “WHAT DO FATHER’S PROVIDE OTHER THAN MONEY?” — Men are disposable #1.
The video is essentially about the duo, reacting to a conversation Aba had with a woman who has DECIDED to have a child and raise it on her own. The topic of discussion was “single motherhood” and we had Aba preaching, yet again, to a woman who — based on experience, opted for this route to motherhood. Not only is the title of the video and the reaction a self-centred understanding of the woman’s choice, it is downright dismissive. Another trait I’ve come to realize of the mentally rigid man.
Here’s the comment I made to the video itself:
A few seconds later it was hidden as I received no more than 2 notifications from my “dislike” of a comment he made on another woman’s “deviant” perspective on the matter.
As you can imagine, their response was both terrible and immature. EDIT: when the video was first posted, they highlighted her comment as “pin of shame”. Another of the many examples of men shaming women, but on a public platform. They’ve since unpinned her comment and shared this instead:
Is it me, or does this duo centre their content creating abilities on BLAMING, JUDGING and SHAMING women for their behaviour and choices?
I was exposed to one of their videos, without any consideration or warning on a day from which I truly hope to recover, by a man who clearly finds these men attractive — at least, mentally. Why else would a man religiously sit and listen to other men instead of finding and experiencing his purpose in life? I know: he’s too caught up with his mental rigidity — a state of mind characterized by the inability to consider other perspectives, to empathize. Him & Them are clearly like-minded: the Trump of women’s issues.
As Black men, one from Ethiopia (Aba) and the other Haiti (Preach), you would think they were in a far better position to empathize with the plight of women. Their intersecting identity of African/Haitan (Ethnicity) and Black (Race) should be enough for them to understand how it feels to be blamed, judged and shamed. Unfortunately, with their overfocus on “logic” they would probably retort along the lines of “this conversation has nothing to do with nationality or race”. I don’t usually make assumptions, but certain responses (defense mechanisms) are typical of those with a mentally rigid mindset: they deflect (and by any means necessary).
That being said, here’s my understanding on two critical aspects of their woman-hating stance:
The BASIS of their OPINIONS: a deep-seated belief in traditional gender roles which manifests in the form of sexism/misogyny, trauma based on their perceived negative experiences (rejection) with girls (not women), anger and shame based on a perceived ability to not live up to those same traditional gender roles to which they subscribe: attract and keep a woman (outside the scope of “money”), an inability to conceive of a progressive world where women approach men among other things, and quite frankly, a fundamental lack of respect for women as demonstrated by their sheer ability to deflect, ignore, hide and dismiss nuanced perspectives that have been shared by human beings who are actually women.
The DEPTH of their ANALYSIS: reductive/simplistic and juvenile — both emotionally and intellectually immature at best, particularly because of the way they draw on interactions with the opposite sex in a high school context. They are so traumatized by the rejection they endured in high school that they’ve become emotionally stunted. Isn’t this apparent in their public pleas for “attention too” and “validation” in the guise of “men have issues too”?
Maybe one day this duo will realize that women are not the only victims of patriarchy: men are too. For those who don’t know, or have a hard time grappling with the movement’s mission: the goal of feminism is to end gender inequality ACROSS and WITHIN genders. It’s literally trying to help all of us!
Check out these videos of Aba sharing his views and experiences with men intellectually and ideologically different from himself Dr. Alok Kanojia and Destiny. My impression of his female-focused, anti-woman content is that Aba is a traumatized boy trapped in a man’s body. Continued work with Dr. K of Healthy Gamers will do wonders for him. Dr. K has done exceptional work with and for reformed Incels.
Also, is it just me or does a tremendous amount of male gamers escape, ideologically, to a sexist echo chamber?
It’s an epidemic that needs a cure.
